@RealDMK: I think High School birth control classes should just be forcing the students to watch videos of me taking my 3 kids to the grocery store
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@PLATINUM2000: My daughter thought putting glue on her hands would help her walk up the walls, we're both a little disappointed that it didn't work.
@INDlAN_: [describing robbers to sketch artist] Make his ears more lethargic. That’s better, now flare his nostrils like he’s excited about a sale.