@RealDMK: I think High School birth control classes should just be forcing the students to watch videos of me taking my 3 kids to the grocery store
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@ArfMeasures: COP: There's been a murder BATMAN: I won't rest until I avenge them C: It's outside of Gotham B: Actually I have got a lot on at the moment
@UncleDuke1969: [Heaven] Me: What happened? God: You were sending a DM & got hit by a bus. Me: I only have one ques- God: Sorry, man. She was totes a dude.
@suzieQ0007: Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.