@ManJuggs: I think I finally found your G-Spot. It's been in my wallet the whole time.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@therealeatwood: RICE: You think you’re so fancy COUSCOUS: How dare you, commoner! QUINOA: [getting hot stone massage] Can you peasants keep it down?
@DaddyJew: Dentist: have you been flossing? [ flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip earlier ] Me: yes
@lindseyallen: Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing.