@theballedtruth: I think i just found this ice cream cone's g-spot
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@TheToddWilliams: [dinner, my place] "This tastes like pork?" ME: You asked for a nice swine "No, a nice wine" ME: Oh, okay…you still want the crap cakes?
@Book_Krazy: *opens drawer* huh, I don't remember this shirt being pink. OMG...did he...did he do laundry? *slowly opens 2nd drawer* -Law & Order sound
@greg_vee: I've been ignoring these dirty dishes for 47 minutes and they still haven't taken the hint. It's just awkward now...
@therealeatwood: BOB: Hey boss can I get another raise SCROOGE: But I just gave you… B: What’s that over there, is it a gho-o-o-ost?? Ooooooooo S: OK! OK!