@mrsmith196645: I think I married someone else's soulmate. I wish they'd come get him.
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@ParentNormal: I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting.
@mattgallo123: Febreeze works just like in the commercials, only instead of being impressed, mom comes home and says "it still smells like pot in here."
@DonSchanke: For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids