@mrsmith196645: I think I married someone else's soulmate. I wish they'd come get him.
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@derekblackmon: I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but I was diagnosed with the flu today & I feel like it's been coming on for a few years now.
@BoogTweets: 911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can't arrest an auto flush toilet. Me: I WASNT READY
@BAKKOOONN: luke, thats a persons name. whys everybodys star wars name gotta be like, hoobie doodoo or seb neb or something