@ryaninco: I think I put the roofie in the wrong driiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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@Lazer_Cat_: *spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*
@patnelke: My sleeping pills say don't mix with alcohol, but drop it in the glass and it dissolves just fine. Doctors think they know everything.
@trojansauce: [after frodo throws the ring into the volcano] FRODO: well? VOLCANO: omg yes! FRODO: i love you VOLCANO: i love you too
@david8hughes: [opens treasure chest & it's full of treasure] Me: whoa Friend: what is it? Me [slowly closing chest]: spiders