@UGotMeRight: I think I'll go to church this morning. I need to repent all my sins & pray for the neighbors wife to covet me.
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@causticbob: "Wanna hear a joke?" "Alright then." "What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?" "I don't know," "You're disgusting."
@radstunts: have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot
@Chumpstring: [grocery store] DAD: [wearing a ski mask] SON: this is so embarrassing MOM: hush- your father gets nervous when we have to buy toilet paper
@ItsAndyRyan: "Is this InkJet any good?" "Sure – we've sold it to royalty" "Princesses?" "Mate, it prints ALL the letters"