@UGotMeRight: I think I'll go to church this morning. I need to repent all my sins & pray for the neighbors wife to covet me.
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@TheDairylandDon: Worst part of being an idiot is always forgetting it. If I was a smart person, I'd remember I was an idiot from the start and plan around it
@Darlainky: My daughter mockingly told me about Winemaking 101, a class her university offers. I surely hope she won't mind bumping into me on campus.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at BBQ] Wow...trying to wrap my mouth around this bratwurst reminds me of my first high school boyfriend. He hated bratwurst.
@Reverend_Scott: Cops: THIS IS THE POLICE. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP. Me: I can't, my dog fell asleep on my lap. Cops: AWWWW. OK WE'LL COME BACK LATER.