@LuvPug: I think it would be totes adorbz if I throat punched you the next time you say 'totes adorbz'
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@LindaInDisguise: Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say "Clean your plate, people in the US are starving."
@barfolishus: My cat just meowed and it sounded like he said "ugh" and I've never agreed with him more
@cjwerleman: Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving.
@NikatNiteNite: My dog barks for 2 reasons: 1. When somewhere in the world another dog is barking. 2. When somewhere in the world no other dog is barking.