@CorkyCrash: I think it's a bad sign that when 9 tries to play charades, everyone's first guess is "constipation."
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@timdonakowski: Me: Siri, did you know millions of people misquote you on Twitter every day? Siri: Tim, I want your polish sausage.
@drhappyknuckles: First they came for the fat, whiny losers, and I said nothing, because they got me immediately. I was like the first person they got.