@JennyJohnsonHi5: I think it's fun how Hollywood gets to make as many Superman movies as they want until they get it right.
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@Underchilde: Wife: “Take me to bed or lose me forever.” Husband: *Thinks about it for 45 minutes*
@Underchilde: Counting to ten after someone pisses you off gives you time to think of somewhere to bury them.
@pleatedjeans: "Ostriches can't fly" said the totally racist stewardess who made me dismount my ostrich & board the plane on foot like a lowly commoner