@Parentpains: I think it's just about time to sit my 9yr old down and give her the "Your mom is a pyscho and you're probably gonna end up one too" speech.
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@david8hughes: [in class] Me: hey, can I borrow a pen? Guy: sure, black or blue? Me [sweating & swelling up]: you got one for bee stings?
@amarie_price: "who can I count on to volunteer for this project?" *slumps out of chair and slowly army crawls out of conference room*
@Izianikapani: Pandas, skunks and zebras are the oldest species on Earth, dating back to long before colour was invented.