@Alex_N_Chains: I think it's obvious that Goo Goo Dolls and Lady Gaga should do a side project together and call it Goo Goo Gaga.
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@PajamaBen_: *dad walks up to me stroking his beard* son, where do we keep the dog treats again? Im hun- *beard falls off revealing my dog. he runs away*
@WistfulBlue: When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you.
@Shock_Monster: Her: I saw this Yoda pen & I thought of you. Me: WHY? YOU THINK I'M 8 OR SOMETHING? Her: No, sorry... Me: Hey, hey, hey! Leave the pen.
@Tmoney68: Just saw a man wearing a pager. Apparently, he's expecting a very important call from someone in 1994.