@lloydrang: I think it's safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.
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@awkwardphilippe: [clown interview] Why become a professional clown? me: [picturing getting hit in the face with cream pies every day] um I like kids
@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for "We Will Rock You."
@TheAlexNevil: CW: Who's the more the foolish: the fool, or the- Me: Ted, I don't have time for this, so I'm going to slap you hard then take myself to HR.
@thebeckyard: Accidentally used 13's shower gel, so I just copped a huge attitude, yelled at everyone and slammed some doors.