@AaronFullerton: I think it's unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it's "sushi," but when a fish eats uncooked human, it's "a shark attack."
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@_The_Man__: wife: im pregnant me: what? im not ready to be a mother we still have petty arguments wife: im the mother me: this is what I'm talking about
@lecalabara: Sober me will always have your back.Drunk me will convince you to get a tattoo of a unicorn doing a dolphin over a rainbow on your back.
@rachelmillman: if you ever want to witness an Oscar worthy performance, ask any person from twitter their follower count and watch them pretend to not know