@AaronFullerton: I think it's unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it's "sushi," but when a fish eats uncooked human, it's "a shark attack."
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@shutupmikeginn: Using the domino's pizza tracker app seems like a great way to carjack someone you know isn't going to put up that much of a fight
@SouthernStylin1: 14 sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas" so I'm wearing hers because good moms listen
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "I'm looking for a psychic who rates themselves highly." Ian: "I'm a medium." Me: "I need someone better than that."
@thestlouisan: All I'm saying is, would it have killed Star Wars to give the audience a peek at the Death Star cafeteria?