@Brentweets: I think LGBT sounds too much like a sandwich.
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@Jesssicle: Why are hemorrhoid and diarrhea so hard to spell? Like if you're talking about them, you aren't having a rough enough time already.
@VeganZebra: *walks into IT department attempting to look cool* You guys torrent any emails lately?
@Book_Krazy: ME: I'd like to order...the updog. WAITER: How would u like that prepared? ME: um medium well? W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done