@zachreinert03: I think marriage is probably like having a business partner. No that's not true, probably weird if your business partner takes your kids
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@WilliamAder: Drove a wedge of suspicion today between the fast food employee at the first window and the one at the second.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [bartender hands lady drink] courtesy of the gentleman down there [she takes a sip] is this - [me from the end of the bar] IT'S MILK
@imagine_vegas: Girl, I like you so much, I might even let you hold my phone....some day, while its locked