@EliTerry: I think marriage should be between a robot and a spider horse because I'm a retarded man child and this is what I bring to the conversation.
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@iwearaonesie: mom: no TV for a week! dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub *sons jaw drops* mom: [whispers] nice
@SCbchbum: Don't bother giving kids a hard time for saying lol while they're speaking if you came from an era when hardy-har-har was a thing.
@TheCatWhisprer: Starting a diet is a lot like starting a lawn mower, you struggle and sweat and end up on the couch eating ice cream with your shirt off.