@EliTerry: I think marriage should be between a robot and a spider horse because I'm a retarded man child and this is what I bring to the conversation.
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@just1fool: To convert Celsius to Fahrenheit to double Celsius and add thirty. To convert someone to Mormonism you double the wives and add 17 kids.
@dumbbeezie: The heavy sighs are coming from inside the kitchen. A passive aggressive horror story
@danjan13: My gf 1 month in: haha OMG I love your Twitter. I definitely don't think it's weird, it's so clever! My gf 2nd month: listen