@WhtUReallyMean: I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic.
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@SatansTongue: *slips a 20* How about a private dance "Okay let's go" *heads to private room* "You ready?" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*
@BoogTweets: Dad: What is taking him so long to get me that crow bar? Me: *Applying for a liquor license* Yes I'm serious, it's just for crows.
@shariv67: Got so wasted last night, had to take a train home. And now I can't figure out how to return it.