@WhtUReallyMean: I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic.
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@ArfMeasures: ART TEACHER: Why have you painted the water green again? It looks- ME: I'm bringing *puts on sunglasses* Shrek sea back AT: You're expelled
@aidanjsears: *sees a car with a "how am i driving" bumper sticker* *calls the phone number* ME: buddy i think it's with a steering wheel