@BradBroaddus: I think my life would have turned out differently had I forwarded those chain letters in the 80's.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iamlaurenp: Obama: Who were you talking to before he came here for the meeting? Biden: Young Metro. Obama: Why did you call- Biden: Shhh. I got this.
@conanobrienswyf: How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murder for him? I can't even get two kids to brush their teeth.
@Fred_Delicious: [g/friends dad] "who in your opinion is the greatest football player of all time?" Me - [say a real name say a real name] "Football Man"
@TheDairylandDon: [drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?