@LeaMehanna: I think my microwave's broken. I keep pressing the pizza button and no pizza is coming out
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@o__0Dev: Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think 1 tiny cheese drawer & 2 giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
@TheDairylandDon: COP: You're under arrest for owning a non-domesticated animal. ME:(looks at otter)You mean Dave? COP:...and for this weed ME: That's Dave's
@jollyrobber: Dude's trunk just popped open in front of me on the expressway ramp. I instinctively looked to see if any of you were in there.