@halvewit: I think my neighbor is very sick. I have now seen him putting no less than six of his arms in his garbage over the past year.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BoomBoomBetty: If you see me in the baby section at the store, there’s no bun in the oven. Just a cat at home that clearly needs a onesie.
@HeatherLuvsYou: A foreign kid asked me how to speak English the other day, so I teached him some.
@david8hughes: The first fireman to get called to rescue a cat in a tree must have had the hose wrestled from him before someone told him to get a ladder.
@Jenn_H_Scott: My 8yo just asked my permission to say "shit" to express his anger, so don't tell me I'm not raising a polite kid.