@FunnyMojoJojo: I think Newton was actually hit by pigeon shit when he discovered gravity.. Falling of apple was just a 'dignified' cover up...!!
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@DaddyJew: "Get off the phone" "Wash your hands" "Pull up your pants" "Make me dinner" My son runs a pretty tight ship in our household
@Jake_Vig: If he marries someone else, raises a family, and leads a very fulfilling life, maybe he's just not that into you.
@sammyrhodes: "You know what would make a good gift for this 3yr old? A harmonica." - people without kids
@AtypicalMama: H:"Where'd you get those shoes?" Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw?" H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies