@mdob11: I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don't really understand kites or insults.
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@touchmybobby: as a job-stealing immigrant, I now have 36 jobs and counting. I keep them in my basement like some kind of job dragon. what you gonna do
@sarousti: She uses her boyfriends toothbrush without his knowledge and wears his underwear every day....I eat a dog biscuit ONCE and I'M the weirdo???
@EndhooS: [Dinner with GFs parents] *Does shadow puppet of a bird* "Thats great but I asked what you do for a living?" Um *smooths tie* I'm unemployed
@murrman5: me at family reunion: im sick of you being called the cool one brother who once attended a taping of the price is right: it is what it is