@ChaseMit: I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheCiscoKidder: I have a dog to make sure that the noises in the middle of the night are nothing serious and I have a cat to make those noises.
@longwall26: If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them
@joejwest: [deathbed] ME: Give me that sword & I'll haunt it when I die SON: I made this [hands me cake] ME: No! [dies] CAKE: [in my voice] God damn it
@joshweller: Dear every guy that works out excessively, the sun is out! NOW is your moment! It was all worth it! Take that shirt off and walk around!!