@shatterpants: I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want.
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@tat2dsoccermom: Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked there.
@DirtMcTurd: A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action... And opened another register
@dhumann: You can tell a lot about a person just by noticing how they continue to talk after you've sighed six or seven times.