@JensenClan88: I think the bigger issue with our country is that Paula Deen even had that many endorsements to lose in the 1st place.
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@dumbbeezie: If commercials want people to look at them they should all start with the sound of a phone vibrating
@AristotlesNZ: I gave my 1yo a chocolate covered raisin. He chewed, paused, then gave me a look that told me he will never trust another human being again.
@ShortSleeveSuit: [on an airplane] Me: Is the pilot any good? Flight attendant: One of the best Me: [winks] How about the rest of the season?
@NurseMurderer: If a party with all dudes is called a "sausage fest", I request that we start calling all girl parties "taco time".