@KimmyMonte: I think the first person to see a pug was like wait why is that sweet potato snorting?
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@bobvulfov: hm so saying "oh god" and "oh yes" during sex is acceptable and encouraged but as soon as i say "oh text RESIST to 50409 to support net neutrality" im suddenly ruining the mood??
@Parkerlawyer: Listening to my husband's gorilla snoring and contemplating if I could record it and sell to the FBI as an alternative to waterboarding.
@BoomBoomBetty: Selfie attempt: come hither look Selfie result: looks like I'm staring into a sandstorm