@KimmyMonte: I think the first person to see a pug was like wait why is that sweet potato snorting?
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@bacon_gillepic: You said clothes were 50% off But not one woman in here is topless That false advertising!
@Mr_Kapowski: Spice up your otherwise trite wedding by making the groomsmen act as pallbearers and carry the groom to the altar in a casket
@bombscribe: I just unlocked the "My House Was Robbed Because I Checked in on Foursquare" badge on Foursquare!
@audipenny: friend: let's meet up soon me: *in the crow's nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though