@Shock_Monster: I think the guy in front of me is trying to resolve the world's economic issues single handedly at this ATM.
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@tuckerflodman: Dessert police! Open up! *breaks down door* Freeze! Cake it easy man, I'm Pudding you in Custardy! "Ugh, well isn't this just Flantastic."
@lloydrang: Me: You a good personal trainer? Him: You bet your emotionally distant dad I am. Me: [through tears] Wow, that's personal. You're hired.
@HiddleDeeDee: You're not really a parent until you swat blindly into the backseat, hoping to connect with a kid.
@Phook75: Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear