@ShawnIzadi: I think the problem is that I'm 20% stud and 80% muffin.
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@jonnysun: when u get caugt lying on ur resume but u still try to convince the interviewer that ur qualified for the job
@panmidwest: [Father's Day] ME: I got you this meat thermometer. Hopefully it works well... DAD: Hopefully it works medium and rare too!
@Mikecanrant: There is a huge spider in my kitchen so I will be tweeting from on top of this table for whatever the life span of this species is.
@tastefactory: WHAT DO WE WANT? License and registration, please. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Sir, please stop shouting and step out of the vehicle.