@zachreinert03: I think the term copycat serial killer is a bullshit term. They can't kill the same people as the other guy
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@HavocMantis: FACT: When a dog barks at you, it's actually their skeleton barking. PROOF: I have never seen a dog without a skeleton bark.
@howe007: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "hey, that one over there is shaped like an alcoholic".
@Merman_Melville: Apple watch, loudly: "It is time for you to poop" Me: "A-as I was saying, our investors h-" Watch, louder: "It is your optimal poop time"
@usermcuserface: I scared 5 and he buzzed while we played operation. He went and told my wife on me. Long story short, I'm sitting in timeout tweeting this.