@summerofbenny: "I think this chlorine is healing my anal fissure." - Things not to say in a swimming pool. Apparently.
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@smhluckyme: Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo? Romeo: God woman, can I just take a shit in peace?
@yoyoha: I just saw a commercial that invited me to watch more of it on the internet! Bc That's the problem w/commercials! They're not long enough!
@trevso_electric: If I were a manager at Stabucks I would be like, "You showed up latte for work today!" then when the laughing stops, "but no, you're fired."