We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@3sunzzz: "I think this ice cream is spoiled."
*me drunk, eating mayonnaise*
@bergified: Send me your home address and I'll mail you a personal drawing of your favorite animal as long as its a buffalo.
@SlothSlouch: Got thrown out of another poetry reading for shouting "oooh naughty" every time someone used a metaphor for sex
@AbbeYaar: You haven't seen a woman overreact until you've told a woman she's overreacting.
@rebrafsim: Me: look, I’m just saying if Superman could move faster than light, then he didn’t need to change in a phone booth
Her: you’re like the opposite of joy
@jonnysun: men r from mars , women r frm venus , neither are capable of reproducton or space travel so species dies out [RECALIBRATE SIMULATION?] <Y/N>