@Bnowaygirl: I think Titanic is fake because, how do they record it when they are all dieing in the water?
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@timdonakowski: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish in highly-contaminated water, feed him for a day.
@Tommytoughstuff: [getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut.
@zoeklar: stan is such a liar - at first he's like "i'm your biggest fan" but THEN he says his little brother matthew likes eminem even more than him