@armyVet1972: I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV.
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@ElleOhHell: BEN AFFLECK: I'm directing a new movie and I was thinking about you for the lead role BEN AFFLECK: Well I'm obviously very flattered
@billwurtz: pre-crashed car! already crashed. don't have to worry about crashing it, car cannot crash. can't drive it (no wheels) wheels fell of in crash. also just replaced the brakes, brakes work perfectly now
@ShortSleeveSuit: [first day on the job at a mattress store] Boss: I don’t think this is working out. You called these pillows headpuffs four times now. Me: *sighing* I’m just trying to sell your nap trampolines.