@armyVet1972: I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV.
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@BlindChow: WIFE: why is the dog wearing a tux? ME: u said to groom him WIFE: i meant brush ME: oh…sorry buddy, wedding's off DOG: this is bullshit
@KattsDogma: [Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is 'babe' Bee: B-A-E J: Sorry. There's another 'B' Bee: WHAT! WHERE? *goes crazy* *stings Judge* *dies*
@SatansTongue: *Vladimir Putin dining* I want Russian fries "They're French fries" Not for long *crosses Ukraine out on agenda & lists France* Not for long
@SammySkinns: I try to use proper grammar and punctuation in all of my tweets, until I'm about to go over the 140 character limit...& den u no how it b.