@NJFreudian: I think twitter is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
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@totallymel: my grandfather destroyed the economy w/ the overproduction of coins he pulled from behind my ears. the market simply could not deal
@Shira: Only in America would people violently trample each other for discounts, exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have...
@PajamaBenLaden: *Sees old 1987 ford mustang and gets in* Lets see if this baby still works *pulls baby out of backpack* *baby cries* Great! *Puts it back*
@huntigula: Me: If Obi-Wan's clothes remained after Vader killed him, then why wasn't ghost Obi-Wan naked? My date: [to waiter] Check, please.