@NJFreudian: I think twitter is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
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@YouWillGo2Hell: Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping.
@lisaxy424: "zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real" - me, walking my dog at night
@thenatewolf: HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.