@leechee420: I thought about getting silk sheets to seem sexy, but then I realized nobody would be turned on by me falling out of bed 6 times a night.
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@NickMotown: I'm sure there'll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams' death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones.
@justinshanes: Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones