@leechee420: I thought about getting silk sheets to seem sexy, but then I realized nobody would be turned on by me falling out of bed 6 times a night.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheCatWhisprer: REPORTER: *asks question* POLITICIAN: that's a great question and thank you for asking it *answers a different question*
@Jmboyd58: *while scrolling Facebook I’m so glad Congress is going to make Facebook protect my data! *clicks on “What Harry Potter character is your social security number?”
@Robbie_Cakes: Why do people always look so embarrassed walking down the street with a pizza box? Be proud man, you've got a pizza!