@morbidgrrrl: i thought about this and shot snot
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@AristotlesNZ: Wife: How's the baby? Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours? Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..
@meganamram: Years ago, scientists knew barely anything about space! It was probably because those scientists were babies
@StevieKnip: Me: I hit the ejector seat and sent her through the roof by accident Cop: you're under arrest. I'm taking you to jail Me: let's take my car