@xoCAMILLAxo: I thought air was free until I bought a bag of Lay's Potato Chips!
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@jonnycarr1974: Him: I'll hold your hair while you throw up Her: *throws up* Him: *throws up in her hair*
@UncleDuke1969: Trapped beneath the feet of a bearded giant... Cut off from the world. Stephen King & Pixar present: "A BUG'S LIFE 3: UNDER THE GNOME"
@PhuckinCody: [walks into interview wearing light up Sketchers] WALMART INTERVIEWER: whoa I didn't know corporate was coming
@SteveSuckington: Eat shit dude! No seriously, it's good for your eyes. You've never seen a dog with glasses have you?