@xoCAMILLAxo: I thought air was free until I bought a bag of Lay's Potato Chips!
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@House_Feminist: when swimming in the ocean always wear a hat so you don't get sharks in your hair
@jonnysun: nothing is funny anymore becuase nothing is normal anymore. i saw a pigeon on the subway today and thought "how did a pigeon make $2.75"
@MarcusOreally: Boredom is the leading cause of pregnancy. Unless you're on Twitter 24/7. Then it becomes the leading form of birth control.