@lecalabara: I thought eyelashes were meant to keep stuff out of my eye, but half the time if theres anything in my eye its a damn eyelash.
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@MikeDrucker: 2017: It can’t get worse than this DAY ONE, 2018: A YouTube star filmed a dead body for entertainment
@AdamOfEarth: 12013 B.C.: You might run into cougars while out clubbing 2013 A.D.: You might run into cougars while out clubbing
@bush_piglet: Murphy's Law - If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. Cole's Law - shredded cabbage in mayo