@caseytduncan: I thought Game of Thrones was a show about bathrooms
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@1Happytwit: HR said I'm not allowed to try to hang co-workers with an extension cord. Dunno what I'm supposed to use though, they wouldn't tell me.
@lucascomedian: I am so sorry to hear about your grandma... I know what you're going through my phone dies all the time.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 5-year-old refused to eat her dinner because Netflix was running slow. At least she picked a worthy cause for her hunger strike.