@KingRainhead: I thought "ghosting" was when you slowly tricked someone you didn't like into thinking their apartment was haunted until they moved far away
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@QwertyJones3: My wife & I couldn't agree on which psychic to go to. They were all sad and depressing. "What did you do?" We finally found a happy medium
@yerpalmildsauce: Me: If that baby won't stop crying I'm walking out & going to another restaurant. Gf: You used to do that too. Me: that was months ago.
@beefman138: I am fairly well educated, but not 'knows every nuance of the English language' educated. I also have no idea what 'nuance' means.
@mikeleffingwell: I always say "I was wondering when you'd find me" when I get in my car. That way if someone's ever in the backseat I'll look cool as shit.