@OBiiieeee: i thought i heard a dog approaching but it was just some hot girl's keys jingling. i fixed my hair for nothing
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@MrsGoose69: Before a long trip I drink allot of alcohol the night before. Dehydration will work for me for once.
@Shock_Monster: I am a master ninja with my ability to hide silently when someone rings my doorbell.
@bourgeoisalien: When man made the first stone tool 2.6 million years ago, I don’t think they could have ever imagined a tool as great as Donald Trump.
@DamienFahey: Hey white people, which filter are we using this year to Instagram the Pumpkin Spice Latte?