@KaysNH: I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [terrible nursing home] Old guy: How did you end up here? Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.
@SimonNRicketts: BIDEN: I'mma punch him when he comes here. OBAMA: No, Joe. Don't do that. BIDEN: Punch him round the back. OBAMA: Joe. BIDEN: Kick, then.
@CherBear162: I can't bend my pinky without my ring finger bending as well..is this normal? Let's hear your results 'cause I know you just tried it.