@KaysNH: I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself.
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@kellyoxford: "The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert" - my 9 yr old daughter
@dafloydsta: [first date] ME: I'm having a great time HER: I'm not ME: *peeking out from my pillow fort* I don't even let my dog in here, Janet
@Asbo_Unicorn: When asked which is more important looks or brains? 9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.