@Pmerrily: I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels...boy was I wrong
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@Book_Krazy: [At Mall] Good cop: CLEAR A PATH PEOPLE! Bad cop: OFFICIAL POLICE BUSINESS Black Friday cop: *Segways past everyone & gets the last HDTV*
@Sean_Burgundy_: I hate it when you tell someone that you'll always be there for them and then they call you to help move
@trevso_electric: I didn't flan on getting divorced and now my wife wants custardy and she's pudding our kids in the middle :(
@titusbb: I don't understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there's so heavy.