@shutupmikeginn: I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me about yourself" *flashback to when I used hand towels mom said are specifically for guests* I'm a risk taker
@ISOremarkable: if i was a conductor of an orchestra, i would abuse my power by making them warm up to a stirring rendition of "ice, ice, baby."
@dreamthievin: People who bend down to pick up a thread instead of running over it with the vacuum 37 times, what's it like to exercise?
@Just_Wanjiru: My boyfriend is not gay!! So please next time you see him with some girls dnt come telling me.