@ditchkelly: I thought my name was "Stop encouraging her" until I was 11.
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@RyanSaysWords: The Foo Fighters did a really good job, because I haven't had to deal with any Foo in years.
@better_off_dad: Breaking: According to a study just released by the Vatican, 4 out of 5 nuns find sewing to be habit forming. I'm not even sorry...
@AmishPornStar1: Me: Ooh, I'd love to go to your party, but I have a dentist appointment. Her: On a Saturday night? Me: I've got really bad teeth.