@JayMindX: I thought she was the one. Then she put her entire email message in the subject line.
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@daemonic3: FRIEND: Women want guys who take charge ME: ok [later] WAITER: [to date] Ready to- ME: [shoves waiter and grabs notepad] Ready to order?
@Phook75: If I were to walk 500 miles and walk 500 more I'd be the man to die from cardiac arrest right at your door
@rebrafsim: Friend: congrats on the engagement! Do you have a date? Me: I was just gonna bring my fiancée