@iAmDelFreaky: I thought Snapchat was just a conversation with a sassy black woman.
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@JoshontheGo: Sorry, I can't take your call right now, I'm all tied up. -submissive's answering machine.
@WheelTod: *Showing Pet Sematary to 6yo daughter "Anyway, this is what happens to kids who don't learn how to spell."
@_mindflakes: Me: Siri how much moss is it safe to eat Siri: I wasn't built for this Me: Siri, the moss Siri: Please let me go back to the phone factory