@mutedclamor: I thought this hot Egyptian chick was hitting on me but she was just trying to lure me into a pyramid scheme. :(
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@TheAlexNevil: Movies Lesson #5: very few people die while trying to get from one hotel room to another using the ledge outside, so give it a shot.
@jazmasta: [first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] "Dr that's the model skeleton"
@david8hughes: [phone rings] Guy: is your refrigerator running? Me: yes my refrigerator is runn- Fridge [grabs phone]: hello? Yeah actually I do crossfit