@Dawn_M_: I thought this waitress was in love with me but then right in front of my eyes she started to bring other people food.
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@cwhudson: "asparagai" is what i call multiple asparagus, but don't take my word for it. get your own word for multiple asparagus
@WordUpBitch: The second I feel pressured to do something, I'm out of there faster than a dog who hears his name and knows it's bath time.
@Book_Krazy: [At Mall] Good cop: CLEAR A PATH PEOPLE! Bad cop: OFFICIAL POLICE BUSINESS Black Friday cop: *Segways past everyone & gets the last HDTV*