@Dawn_M_: I thought this waitress was in love with me but then right in front of my eyes she started to bring other people food.
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@heatherlou_: I'm not flirting with you. I'm just nice. Get over yourself. Except you. You get under me.
@hell_homer: deep in the forest theres a metal box that controls most forest settings. toggle birds, set default leaf size, select season, squirrel ratio
@KalvinMacleod: CAR GPS: turn left PHONE GPS: turn right C: who was that? ME: just a friend P: just a friend? ME: wait C: make an illegal U-turn ME: babe
@DamienFahey: Congratulations, Americans who write "Cheers" at the end of e-mails. You've found something even more pretentious than "Sent from my iPhone"