@Dawn_M_: I thought this waitress was in love with me but then right in front of my eyes she started to bring other people food.
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@SteveSuckington: Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
@Jdydrcy: 6 year old wouldn't drink out of my cup because she doesn't want my "DNA". Should I tell her?
@Bob_Heller: I love breakdancing. I don't do it... Or watch it, even. I just like it because it allows be to sell cardboard to rich white kids.
@i_theindian: When your nose is running and your feet smell, you are not sick you're just built upside down.