@DadandBuried: I thought toddlers were the most energetic, obsessive, and relentless people on earth. And then someone got mad at me on Facebook.
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@megankcomedy: I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don't even have to ask how I'm doing
@ddsmidt: When you call home on a holiday and get passed around, it's worse than being included on a group text.
@UltraPunch: It's impossible to say "mesh" without sounding like Sean Connery... Also you just tried it.